Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father sent me, so I am sending you.” Then he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” (John 20:21-22, CEB)

There are lots of ways to respond the question, Why do we do good things? Potential answers include: We’re instructed by our faith tradition; it makes us feel good; we want reciprocity, e.g. good karma; someone helped me at some point and I want to pay it forward. I’m not sure what inspired me to do a “good” thing the other night, but response from the recipient took me by surprise.

I had an early evening meeting downtown and, after the meeting was over, I made my way to the Red Line train to go home. For those unfamiliar with Chicago Transit system, you touch your card on a reader before entering the turnstile. When you first touch your card, there’s a quick low tone telling you that, indeed, your card has been touched and, if you have enough money on the card, there’s a quick higher tone, essentially saying, “Hooray! You can ride the train!” It doesn’t always work that way, though. Sometimes, for various reason, you don’t get the “Hooray” tone, you get another tone essentially saying, “Oh, too bad, try again.”

I was behind a woman who was going through the touch-the-card process, but she simultaneously dropped something on the ground and got the “Oh, too bad” tone so she was awkwardly stuck in the turnstile. Here was my chance to do a good deed. I whisked my card out and touched the reader so she could make it through the turnstile without having to pay.

Full confession: I was expecting some sort of expression of gratitude for “saving” this stuck woman, but I didn’t get that. At first, she looked at me as if she didn’t know what was going on and I said, “It’s OK. I paid for you.” And then she muttered something (not “thank you”) and walked through the turnstile and away from me as fast as she could.

I don’t know why she responded the way she did. Maybe she thought I was doing this small act of kindness because I was getting impatient with her stuckness in the turnstile. Maybe she is uncomfortable receiving gifts. Maybe she just had a hard day and wasn’t in the mood to be in debt to someone. But the interaction between this stranger and myself stuck with me.

It’s easier to say something like, “Yes, I know God loves me. I know God forgives me.” It’s another thing to actually receive this unexpected and astoundingly generous gift. Like the woman, we may be uncomfortable receiving a gift or we may not want to feel like we’re in debt to someone. It can take a little work to receive well. When the resurrected Jesus appeared to the disciples for the first time, he twice had to tell them, “Peace be with you,” perhaps to alleviate their understandable fears. One he expressed this peace, then he said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”

The adage sticks in our heads: It’s better to give than receive. That’s not untrue. But receiving isn’t bad either.