My son has gotten into indoor rock climbing in recent months so about once a week, my wife or I take him to a climbing gym on the north side of the city where he can scale to his heart’s content. I usually just stick around and go to a nearby coffee place and read and/or do some work. A couple of weeks ago, though, it was one of those rare nice spring days so I waited for him outside the gym at a picnic table. It was such a peaceful setting that I decided to do my late-afternoon prayers there.
Normally when I pray, I simply sit up with my head facing forward, eyes closed. On this day, though, I bowed my head into my hands. A few minutes later, I distinctly heard a voice:
“Are you OK?”
Is the Holy Spirit speaking to me outside a climbing gym? I wondered. And then a few seconds later, the same question, a little louder: “Are you OK?”
I realized that it wasn’t the Holy Spirit, but a woman who was going into the gym. I looked up and saw her walking toward me with a concerned look on her face.
“Is there anything wrong?” She saw my head buried into my hands and was concerned for me. I kind of laughed to myself and assured her that I was fine.
I don’t know what spurred her to ask me the question. I’m going to assume it was because she was empathetic, but she may also have wondered, why is this man sitting alone with his head in his hands? Is he stable? An individual praying in public isn’t terribly common so I can understand her question.
I was grateful for her concern and also for giving me a new entry into prayer. Since that time, I’ve used her question from time to time as an interesting starting point in my listening and sharing with God. Am I OK? Or I imagine God asking, Are you OK? Sitting with that query and being honest in responding can and does open up a new avenue of vulnerability. Some days, I answer “Yes,” other days “No” while either burying or lifting my head. Both responses are beautiful ways of deepening my prayer life.
Am I OK? Simply by asking the question, I am.